Of Goats and Cars: A Parable

Posted by Jul 13, 2017 Behavior Team

I’m taking a class this summer for my masters’. The instructor asked us to reflect on the idea that the wrong people are driving the car in the world of education, while the right people left out of the driver’s seat.

This. Pushed. My. Damn. Buttons. Because I think there are a lot of people making decisions about kids’ educations who don’t know anything at all about how kids learn. The concept of “wrong drivers” in education has hit a timely nerve. Many times, there are people driving the metaphorical car who I wouldn’t trust with my eight-year-old’s bicycle with training wheels.

I offer you a parable…

Imagine, if you will, that an excellent driver with an impeccable driving record is given a new car. He is widely considered one of the world’s greatest experts in driving this particular make and model. He teaches other drivers how to drive this same car with great success. Everyone agrees that he is the perfect driver for the vehicle, so he is handed the keys and a tank of gas and is told to drive 100 miles to the next city. He is to use his best judgement and the tank of gas to get to the city, and no other directions are given. He is told that everyone will be delighted to see him at the end of the journey. Bon voyage!

30 minutes into the drive, things are going swimmingly. The driver has chosen a picturesque yet direct route and has set the ideal speed for a prompt yet safe arrival. At this point, the driver’s cell phone rings. Ever the responsible driver, he pulls over to the side of road to take the call. Upon answering, the driver’s sponsor informs him that she has heard how wonderfully the drive is going and would very much like to join him for the remainder of the drive. At precisely that moment, a helicopter descends from the sky and lands on the highway. Cars honk and swerve because this inconsiderate asshole has decided that she is so important that it’s fine if she endangers everyone on the road.

She gets into the car, holding a wooden staff…because she is a goat herder. She tells the perplexed (and somewhat terrified) driver that herding goats is basically the same thing as driving a car, so she’s more than qualified to assist with the journey. She produces a list of ideas for “improving” the remainder of the drive. The list is as follows:

  1. Siphon half of the gas out of the tank to save money. Put the gas into the helicopter, instead. Alternatively, just dump it on the side of the road and try not to throw a lit cigarette butt into the fumes. Choices are important!
  2. Take a series of gravel roads in order to avoid the freeway.
  3. Invite several goats to ride in the backseat.

The driver is incredulous. He is, after all, an expert driver with a proven track record. His plan was working well, and his time and gas mileage supported that his plan was working. Nevertheless, the goat herder-turned-car-expert is his boss, and he must, ultimately, do as she says or face termination.

In the end, the car breaks down 30 miles short of its destination because an unrestrained goat has chewed through the wiring in the console. The driver is told that it was his responsibility to both drive AND keep the goats at bay, so he truly is to blame. The goat herder flees the vehicle and leaves the driver who she now insists “is great at solving problems because he’s an expert!” The driver attempts to walk the remaining miles, in the dark, with three goats tied to a piece of rope he had in the trunk (he’s a very prepared driver). Upon finally arriving, the media berate him for being an idiot and he is given a poor review. The goat who ate the wiring is awarded first prize at the county fair and sires dozens of equally infuriating offspring.
What does this have to do with education? LOTS. All too often, teachers are given lip service that they are experts at knowing the right thing to do for students but are undermined by the the very decision-makers who designated them as experts in the first place. When things are going well in a classroom, everyone wants a piece of the action, to place their name on a successful project for purposes of their own self-gratification. There are too many goats in the backseat using public education as a stepping stone to their next political appointment, willfully chewing away at the infrastructure of public education with little regard to the long-term consequences. I am resentful that one person’s political pitstop leaves my students and I reeling for years, if not decades.
The concept of an inept lawmaker or school board member creating sweeping changes when he/she has no experience educating children occurs with such disheartening frequency that it has become a cliche. My granny would describe this as a case of being “too big fer yer britches.” If the only interest a person has in what occurs inside a classroom is how he can benefit from sticking his finger in the pie, that person would be more appropriately left by the side of the road than riding in the car.

About sara

I have spent the last 18 years in various classrooms, most of them in alternative education working with criminal, at-risk, or behavior-disordered students. I am just a regular teacher like you, who learned a lot of quality information the hard way. Currently, I work with students, families, and teachers to formulate effective and creative plans for helping students change problematic behaviors into productive ones as we work together to reintegrate students back into a general education high school setting.
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