***This is the third blog post in a continuing series detailing the launch of a new district EBD center housed inside a traditional high school.

Now that the “regular” school year is over, Jenny and I are in the thick of getting things handled for the new program. I thought I’d feel pulled in fewer directions. I thought I’d feel more focused. I thought I’d be ticking off items from my program to-do list like a champ.

I must have been high on school HVAC mold, because I was obviously hallucinating.

I’m drowning over here. I’ve lost my gumption. I debate (sometimes hourly) whether I should run away to Belize or simply start living off-the-grid stateside.

I feel like we’re racing the clock to meet with all the families (some of whom are already angry about things that happened long before we came along…some of whom are already irritated that we “haven’t reached out” yet when the last day of school for the current term was, buchstäblich, a week ago to the day), coordinate with the custodian, schedule all the kids, figure out our classroom setups, and come to terms with the divide between the project we dreamed of and the reality of what we can actually do within the constraints of budget, time, and the larger school team.

Don’t even get me started on the ever-present sting of Teacher-Mom Guilt. I’ve been promising my own kids that I’d be more available and engaged for two months now. Usually, summer is my chance to deliver the goods. This year…not so much. Thank God George is so willing to engage in all those games of “Blanket Monster.”

On an intellectual level, I fully understand the process and my current place within it. ich “get” that a lot of my colleagues have left for summer break and won’t be back until August, leaving Jenny and me to wait expectantly and hope that things will work out.

In the meantime, we’re controlling and handling what we can: custodial requests, administrative team planning, making student schedules, crafting the supervision matrix for our staff (sooooo glad Jenny took this one on), meeting with students and families, and generally getting ourselves mentally prepared for the challenges headed our way in 9 short weeks.

By doing what we CAN do now, we’re hoping to have more time and energy for the tasks that absolutely can’t be handled until August.

#enraged2engaged #EBD #ODD #autism