If you ever want to ensure that a student will engage in some truly data-worthy behaviors, I advise you to drink a large glass of water, fill your bladder, and wait 30 минут. Better yet, have that extra cup of coffee. Wear that pair of shoes that rubs your bunion wrong. Затем, get your pencil and clipboard ready, because you’re in for a treat!

This morning, I was pretty thirsty. I really wanted to chug that huge bottle of Dasani I’ve been hoarding away in the fridge in the department office (it’s really sad that this is the biggest treat I have to look forward to right now, but that’s another day’s blog post). But I resisted the temptation! I was not fooled! My bladder remained stoic. Because I had NO time for a major incident today. I’m already behind enough on my mountain of paperwork as it is.

In the end, a dehydration-induced migraine was the price I paid for an empty bladder and an un-jinxed caseload.

Still easier than getting a kid to quit hyperventilating about the existential nature of the afterlife at 2:00 in the afternoon.